My half sister has four children, so I’m already an aunt. However, since they live in the Caribbean, I’ve only met one of them and sadly I’m not super involved in their lives.
So when my husband’s half sister told us that she was expecting, I was hopeful that I could be a proper auntie. More importantly, my husband was hopeful that with his half-sister getting married and starting a family, they would grow closer as a family and he would get to be the awesome uncle I know he would be.
But alas, the child is almost two weeks old and we have yet to lay eyes on the child in person.
We tried to go visit them in the hospital since she had to have a c-section, but we were discouraged. OK, I get it. A c-section is hard. I had two of them. I was up for visits, but everyone is different.
When we found out that they were released from the hospital, we tried to arrange for a visit. We were told that there’s not tons of space where they are living (they are renovating their house and staying with her husband’s grandmother), and weekends aren’t the greatest time for a visit; weekdays are better.
OK. “Are there any days that are absolutely out?” Radio silence.
I’m a little disappointed (although not surprised), so I can only imagine how my hubby feels. He feels that his family is never really there for him. His mom only contacts him when she needs or wants something, and it’s very rare that she would ask how the rest of us are doing when she does contact him.
His relationship with his older sister is better than it has been in the past. They don’t talk every week, but they make a point of checking in with each other.
The only time he hears from his half-sister is when she’s returning a call. Same with his dad.
The year we got married, I asked my hubby to humour me and not call his dad or invite himself to his house during the summer to see if he would get in touch. Nothing!
I believe we didn’t hear from him until hubby called to wish him a happy birthday and then again around Christmas.
I will always support and encourage my husband where his family is concerned, but the last thing I want to do with my “spare time” is waste it spending time with people who could care less about me and my family.
I think it speaks volumes that neither my hubby nor his older sister have been invited for a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner at their dad’s. N.E.V.E.R.
That’s crazy to me. Although my hubby and I have kids together, my step-daughter is part of our family (although we never see her anymore — that’s a whole other post) and will ALWAYS be invited to any family function hosted by anyone in my family.
I have to try to not hold any bitterness towards my in-laws, and I can’t compare them to my family, which is the bomb dot com!
My parents have blessed us in so many ways since we got married, and it makes my husband sad when he reflects on it and thinks about his own family. I tell him that they’ve done the best they could.
I don’t know if I buy that anymore.